Next Play Mentality: Helping Young Athletes Bounce Back From Failure

Strikeouts. Errors. Mistakes. Failure is inevitable in softball and baseball.

Yet so many young athletes feel like they have to be perfect. One simple mistake turns into frustration, lost confidence, mental blocks, and an inability to move on to the next pitch or the next play.

After working with thousands of athletes at 360U since we opened in 2016, we've learned that the ability to "bounce back" isn't something athletes naturally do - in fact, it’s something they naturally don’t do. Responding to failure in a positive and productive way is a learned skill. And like any skill, it can be developed and improved through intentional conversations, practice, and guidance from parents and coaches. 

When we begin to understand why kids respond the way they do, we can help them respond better.

Identify Their WHY

Before we can improve an athlete's response to failure, we first have to understand what's driving it. At 360U, we spend a ton of time uncovering the reasons behind athletes’ fears, pressure points, and overall lack of confidence. 

What we've found is that the mistake itself usually isn't the biggest problem. It's the meaning the athlete attaches to the mistake. Kids are smart, and intuitively pick up on even the smallest gestures, comments and reactions from those around them.

One of the most common answers we hear is that athletes are afraid of disappointing their parents, coaches, or teammates. Kids hate letting people down—that's part of what makes them so genuine. They want to make the people they care about proud.

In order to help them, as parents and coaches we need to ask: Where is this pressure they’re feeling coming from? Sometimes it's created by the game situation itself. Other times it's pressure athletes have placed on themselves based on their own expectations of success. Sometimes it’s something they are feeling from their coaches or from parents.

Re-Define Expectations

Many young athletes have no real understanding of what success in this sport actually looks like. It's hard not to simply define success by ‘getting a hit’ because it's the elephant in the room. But the very best athletes are able to separate the ‘obvious wins’ from the ‘process wins’ that result in actual growth and real development.

We watch a lot of Brewers baseball in our house, and I’ve started trying to point out subtle ‘wins’ during games to my little guy – a tough 10 pitch at bat that ends in a strikeout…that’s a win! A diving play to stop the ball and save a run, but no throw because of a bobble…that’s a win! Walking the bases loaded, and responding with a strikeout to end the inning…that too, is a win. These are small moments that should be recognized and communicated to our kids in their own games to help them re-write attainable, realistic expectations for themselves.

But in a world where GameChanger tracks every single statistic and exposes athletes to constant comparison and criticism (or praise) without having the whole story, parents and coaches have to work even harder to reinforce the importance of ‘process.

So how do we do that? Look at our conversations with our kids and players. What do our questions after games tell our athletes we value? Are our conversations centered around what we learned, or are they centered around ‘this play’ or ‘that pitch’? Are we tracking their batting average all season, or focusing on quality at bats?

Whether we realize it or not, all of these conversations shape what our athletes believe success to look like!

Controllables vs. Variables

Confidence grows when athletes understand the difference between what they can control and what they can't.

They can control their preparation, effort, attitude, body language, routine, and response. These are all “Word of the Week” discussions we have at 360U each week with our athletes. They can't control umpires, opponents, bad hops, weather, or even every outcome or the score of the game.

As adults, we need to make sure we’re not another variable for them. If our reactions fluctuate with their performance, our athletes notice. Our job is to be the safest place they can return after failure.

Now, a bit counterintuitive here, but this goes for the ‘highs’ too. Celebrate their success, but continue to focus on what they can control - their effort, attitude, sportsmanship, and response to failure. If they start recognizing that positive feedback primarily coming after going 4 for 4 at the plate, or shut outs on the mound, they’ll start tying that approval back to their results. 

When we were young, all the way through our college softball careers, our dad always said “the highs aren’t so high, and the lows aren’t so low” and our parents truly lived that. Their post game response was remarkably consistent, steady and  predictable - whether we played the best or worst games of our lives. That outlook not only was incredibly healthy and helpful to us as we played softball, but still echoes in our lives today as we raise our families and deal with everything ‘life’ throws at us.

Full-Effort Failure

Not all failure is equal. 

If an athlete gives maximum effort, plays aggressively, remains coachable, and still makes a mistake, then that's a huge opportunity to learn. Not something they should fear.

Athletes who know they're allowed to fail while giving full effort play with greater confidence, freedom, and resilience because they aren't constantly trying to avoid mistakes.

Poor effort or a poor attitude deserves a conversation. There’s a pretty clear distinction there - body language is usually a dead giveaway here!

What Did We Learn?

Failure only creates growth if we choose to let our kids learn from it.

Instead of asking questions that make athletes defend themselves or feel heavy blame or responsibility for things going wrong, ask questions that help them reflect:

"What did you notice?"

"What would you do differently next time?"

"What can you control on the next play?"

Those conversations shift the focus from blame to learning, and ultimately getting better.

Next Play Mentality

A true "Next Play Mentality" isn't about pretending mistakes don't matter. We can acknowledge them, talk about them, learn from them, and move on from them.

When athletes understand where their pressure comes from, redefine what success looks like, focus on what they can control, and know they're supported regardless of the outcome, things will change for them. They’ll still feel pressure, and still be disappointed when things don’t go their way, BUT they’ll be able to move forward.

And to be quite frank, that’s our mission at 360U. We aren’t hyper focused on creating mechanically perfect robot athletes, but resilient ones who are confident enough to play, learn, and love the game through both success and failure.

And the best part? Those are usually the athletes who play a long, long time.

Ready to help your athlete build confidence? At 360U, we train both the mechanics and the mindset of the game. Explore our lessons, camps, and training programs to help your athlete compete with confidence.